“Love doesn’t hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, that’s why love is so strong. So it can carry you all the way home.” – Author Unknown
I found this quote as I was trying to search for a good way to begin this post. It seems to exemplify how I believe love should be and act. To love and be loved should mean you are the comfort of home for your partner that they are willing to fight for to keep stable and well. If you can’t fight for love…is there really anything on this Earth worth fighting for at all?
Disclaimer: If you don't feel like reading everything just yet, at least watch this TED talk video by Emma Gibbs that inspired this post.
I’ve recently been going through a breakup. A heart break really. It came as a complete shock to me. As I was planning a future with this guy, I found some news out that put a quick halt of the relationship. Already we were in the middle of a long-distance relationship, which initially I had my concerns over, but now we were going through another hardship. By having a disposition against long-distance and then having a newly formed issue with trust, could the relationship survive?
Well it turns out it couldn’t. I had to end it.
Unfortunately for me this relationship, that now that I have the foresight, I could see was not going where it needed to go even before this new issue arose. At least that’s the impression that I seemed to get. You could say I was putting my own life on hold in order to try to grow a new one with my partner. Travel opportunities and career opportunities were put on the back burner as I got the ‘stable’ and ‘appropriate’ kind of job your parents expect of you when you graduate college. However, I was excited for this initial sacrifice because I saw the big picture. I could always picture that light at the end of the tunnel and that apartment we could one day share together. If I am going to be honest guys…I was getting really excited to start this wildly new adventure of domestication. Shoot with this job I could create some financial and geographic stability that would act as the foundation for this new life with my partner. It all seemed like a good plan right? Wrong. Well as I worked toward this goal I realized my partner may not be ready to do what was needed to make this life a reality, at least not that I could see happening any time soon.
This situation made me start questioning if the relationship had truly ended long before it was made official? I mean if he really loved me, wouldn’t he find a way to be with me? Wouldn’t that be enough of a drive to put words into action and work together towards this new future? Wouldn’t that mean I was enough and you wouldn’t seek attention and comfort from anyone else? It all felt way too Sexy and the City to me.
So after the questioning, came the aching. For almost two weeks I ached. However, after the aching, came clarity. Sweet sweet clarity that showed me the blessings surrounded this situation. You see heartbreak doesn’t mean it’s over. Yes, okay between that one individual sure, but if you are willing to let it, a heartbreak can be the opening of a door to a world of new possibilities…If you don’t believe me listen to this.
I was watching some TED talks on Netflix and I stumbled across this one about a woman going through heartbreak because like me, her partner found their situation too complicated and was not ready to fight for their love. Through this experience she found out how really it was the best thing that could have happened to her at that time. So check out her video and see just why a breakup is only the beginning.
Quote from Video: “it was all too hard…he didn’t fight for me and it fell apart. Now it’s really difficult to deal with, when, when they don’t love you enough to fight…”
One thing about relationships forming and ending, is you have the opportunity to learn a lot. Use this opportunity. Learn as much about yourself; learn your needs and wants so you can be the best you possible and be ready for the love you will ultimately find. I believe things happen for a reason. Shoot I’m always surprised by love. So really you have no idea what’s in store for the future, but in the mean time you just need to focus on becoming the best version of yourself and keep moving forward.